SKT Episode 16: Snake Jazz

(Jazz Adam, JAZZ!)

Starring Avengers Anonymoose:

With:

Author’s Note: This is one of those encounters where the DM has tweaked a creature a little so if something starts doing something the Monster Manual says it shouldn’t do, it’s probably by design. Although never discount the possibility that the DM just fucked it up.

There is some guest narrator commentary from the vampire Morticus Von Strimple. His two Spawn are called Clarice and Ormintroyd but the players don’t know any of the names. It’s written from his memoirs from the future. It’s narrative bollocks so just roll with it.

Morticus was supposed to a bit camp and funny but he turned out to be a bit more.. er… hardcore, I guess. Probably because the player banter was funny enough, it didn’t need more.

I ran out of time to do it properly towards the end of the session so enjoy what is there. I might go back and finish it off over Christmas if I get time.

That Which Must Be Repeated: This campaign contains hard encounters. It is often not required for all of you to kill all of them in order to succeed!

Season Recap: Chapter 1 – A Great Upheaval

– The party have saved the fortified village of Nightstone from goblins following an attack by Cloud Giants from a floating castle (that went east).

– The characters travelled to Triboar and on the way met a cloud giant called Zephyros who travels in a floating tower. He explained that the ‘ordning’ (which regulates giant society) is broken and the players are destined to fix it.

– They helped defend the town of Triboar from a fire giant attack and travelled to Everlund to bring word of the attack to the Harpers there. They were given access to the Harper’s teleportation network.

– They were on the way to Goldenfields when they were side tracked by an Adventurers Wanted poster from Beliard and located the Hill Giant stronghold of Grudd Haug. Then they went to catch a bat.

Pre-session Guff

The DM announced he nearly threw up in a Tie Fighter earlier and was now very tired and still slightly nauseous. This is due to recent purchase of a VR headset.

The DM, Jake and Mike embark on a lengthy discussion of VR games.

Adam joined. We had a map issue:

The DM, Jake and Mike embark on another lengthy discussion of VR games.

Twenty five minutes into the session:

He has a point.

Batten Down The Hatches

The fight takes place on a misty map at a roadside camp fire. The present characters are at the fire the absent characters are by the horses off to the side to the south-west of the fire.

Jake> Right… my mind’s already blanked out. What the fuck are we doing and why the fuck are we here?

<sigh>

It was explained, again, to the players that were here to try and find out what was making villagers from Fucking Womford disappear along this stretch of road. The ‘bat’ was reported to be humanoid and unusually fast.

“You’ve always been an idiot, boy!” was father’s favourite expression. Well he was the one that looked stupid as I eviscerated him on the drawing room floor after I finally came into my full powers. Sadly I was enjoying the moment too much to spot the serving girl who witnessed the incident run from the house and thus outraged peasants with pitchforks and torches caused me to flee the family estate with but a handful of valuables.

I next made a home in Neverwinter for many years, charming the rich dowagers of that fine city. Alas, it seems that while the rich elderly do not keep too close an eye on their finances, those that stand to inherit it more than make up for that lack of diligence.

Having exited the city with some haste, this time being better prepared and taking my fortune with me, a purchase of an out of the way villa near Loudwater gave me a wonderful home for many years until the locals hired a party of ‘adventurers’ to intervene with my nocturnal activities.

Whilst no mere group of vagabonds would be likely to unseat me from my chosen lair, they brought a bloody frost giant with them! I ask you, who goes adventuring with a frost giant?!

I really detest ‘adventurers’.

Having escaped before they found the crypt, I was once again near penniless in a savage world. I travelled west and set up base near an establishment called the Bargewright Inn. This festering hole is populated predominantly by the Zhentarim and they are easy pickings; when one goes missing they are quick to blame each other, allowing me to prey on them with ease, even planting the odd bit of false evidence to stir things up inside when I got bored.

I was well on my way to rebuilding my finances when I happened upon Clarice travelling the dark road one evening. Ah, such a beauty; wide eyes, trembling lips and large heaving… yes, well, it was love at first sight! In her case it was love at first bite!

Sadly, the lovely Clarice refused to be parted from her brother, the witless Ormintroyd. Now that we had three to feed our activities were not nearly as covert as I would have liked but I simply could not part with Clarice and she could not part with the bufoon.

Soon though, we would have collected enough to settle down once again, although I was contemplating making arrangements for Ormintroyd to have a little ‘accident’.

Bat’s The Way It Is

As the party scouted along the road towards evening a strange mist started to rise. Soon after they came across a small campfire tended by a human male in plate armour and a magnificent cloak. His teeth gleamed and his hair… was perfect.

The man, Cruril, welcomed them to the fire and explained he was currently out canvassing votes for the upcoming mayoral election at Red Larch.

DM Note: Cru is level 8 for this one so that’s two levels higher than the party. When I plugged this fight into Kobold Fight Club (yip, yip!) it came out deadly with six level 6 characters so Cru was added for both nostalgia, comedy and mainly insurance purposes.

There was a lot of laughter at this because during the Princes of the Apocalypse campaign, Cru embezzled a bunch of the party funds to pay for this election campaign.

Some pleasantries are exchanged and all are a bit worried about the mist. Cru asks to make an Arcana check on the mist and recognises that it is unnatural.

Regulus> It could just be… hundreds of vampires in mist-form!

DM> Ooh! I didn’t think of that, shit!

A lone human was camped along the road one night, easy prey I thought until a number of others showed up as well. This would be a risky enterprise but they looked stupid and reasonably wealthy. Also, several of them were not mentally well-grounded to this plane and should be easy to incapacitate. If all went really well, Ormitroyd would not survive this encounter.

The first human worries me, he looks vaguely priestly but too martial, but he is also lacking the smugness of your typical paladin. He is, frankly, entirely too shiny for comfort. He does have nice hair though.

Of the others we are likely to have to contend with, one looks quite rustic and is wearing what looks like some sort of animal hide. He looks a little sad and tired and seems to shudder every time he glances at the nearby rocks and boulders. We will try and deal with that one first, pick off the weak and thus undermine the strong when they see their beloved companions fall.

They seem to have some sort of a shield golem with them. That will be easily neutralised once we find out who it serves and end their command over the mechanical creature; it’s difficult to issue orders when you can’t breathe.

There’s a bulky looking fellow with an enormous sword, but it’s made of stone. Probably some kind of peasant or barbarian, I mean really, a stone sword?! He does not look appetising at all… I shall feed him to Ormintroyd, if he survives.

Then there’s the Elf. Clarice is partial to elf but I find them way too sweet for my palette. No, give me a nice mature gnome any day. This elf moves in a strange disjointed manner though, perhaps some birth defect. We will quickly end his miserable existence. I expect we will be doing the poor chap a favour.

Bats What I Want

The players now have to decide on sleep arrangements. Will they wear armour? Will they sleep or just pretend to sleep?

Joffrey decided not to sleep in armour and seemed quite offended by the very idea. Cru and Clay both slept in armour because they aint stupid. They do forego the benefits of sleep but that won’t matter if they get attacked at night.

The DM called for a watch order and apologised in advance if he accidentally killed someone this week. The DM feels no guilt at all if someone dies to a book-standard encounter but there might be a slight twinge if he personally designed the thing that killed them.

Initiative was rolled and, carrying straight on from last week, Abelas rolled a 2. Lastbelas makes a re-appearance at his rightful place at the foot of the initiative board.

The DM rolls for when the attack will occur:

Only four swarms answered my mental summons, I should have used the wolves but the last time I commanded them to aid us, Ormintroyd ate three of them. I sent the swarms straight into the camp to get things started.

All Bats Are Off!

The standard ‘Adam didn’t read it properly’ applies to this as well but in a detrimental form for the druid:

You can make the wall up to 50 feet long, 15 feet high, and 1 foot thick. You can shape the wall in any way you choose so long as it makes one continuous path along the ground.

So he could have wended it around the bats hitting all of them instead of the straight line the DM assumed it was.

Hmm, that may be the first time I have ever typed the word ‘wended’:

Wend

Verb

Wend your way

To move slowly and not directly:

The thieves then wended their way through the dark back streets to the docks.

The wall stops ordinary projectiles and deals 3d8 blunt damage to anything in the wall when it appears. Small or smaller creatures cannot pass through the wall.

They actually get -3 to Str but Adam rolled 6 damage from 3d8’s (13.5 average) and he then retreated to the other side of the fire.

The DM really did feel sympathy for his player at that point. He promptly stomped that shit out and got a grip though.

Everyone had a good laugh at the level 3 spell doing 3 damage but again, most were sympathetic as it mostly sucked due to unforeseen crap dice and resistances.

Cluster Suck

Indeed. It was bloody funny though. Adam took it well for someone that can’t bring a gun to work and make us all pay.

Regulus, having used half his speed to stand up, attacks the closest bat swarm:

The swarm got thunder-fisted for 10 and then 14 damage despite Regulus only rolling a 5 and a 6.

The four swarms surrounded Regulus and Abelas, all four attacked the warforged and all four missed. Great start DM!

Getting To the Heart of the Batter

The shiny one offered some prayer to a heathen deity beyond my ken and a strange holy artefact manifested near the fire! It was a ludicrously bright red, oval ‘thing’ wrapped in cord. It surged forth and struck some of the bats, killing several.

Matt was struggling to remember how the Sun Blade worked; it required a bonus action to activate so he threw the +2 throwing hammer Knight’s Innately Throwing Tenderiser (KITT) at the swarm instead.

Clay moves forwards and unlimbers the giantslayer battleaxe and knocks a few more chunks out of the swarm.

Clay did successfully scatter one of the swarms though.

Abelas throws out a Lightning Bolt which was ever so slightly overkill on a bunch of CR1/4 enemies but eh, they are not my spell schlots. With some DM assistance this was angled to hit all three remaining swarms, killing two of them and leaving the last properly buggered.

Well this is a bit of problem because he is right but the vampires are not on the board yet. The DM does a quick division of the angle they might appear in, calls that 200 degrees, guesses roughly what angle of that 200 the lightning shot off in and asks Abelas to roll a d100. If he get around the 60-70 mark, he might hit something out in the fog.

Sadly he rolled 50, which was actually pretty bloody close. Shame really.

He hit a tree on the other side of the map and the DM felled it for him.

As A Batter Of Fact

At this point Abelas discovers he has one more Bladesong than he thought he should have. We added Tasha’s Hideous Cauldron recently so the Bladesinger and the Artificer have been updated. They’re kind of respectable now. Obviously that was before WotC realised the likes of Mike and Jake would play these classes.

The druid flame-attacks the last swarm but misses by quite a lot.

Three of them succumbed to the unwaking magic, less than I had hoped, and the elf seems to be a spell caster. He moves slowly though and will be easy prey. Time to get this soiree started!

The DM rolls a magnificent 7. Well, shit. The follow up unarmed attack is a natural 20!

The elf was slipperier than he looked and my bite narrowly missed but I managed to grab hold of him, now he was mine!

Morticus does 8 damage with the attack but the DM forgoes the crit to grapple the wizard instead because the vampire doesn’t know the gimpy wizard can teleport.

Regulus gives the last bat swarm a damned good double-fisting (right in the wind hole!) but then we start some light cheese with Abelas miraculously being able to tell Regulus what he was going to do (Thunderstep). This was a tad too meta-gamey for the DM. I usually let this crap slide but I just forewent some crit damage to not metagame it so fuck em!

They took it in good spirit and Regulus did not run away from the threat.

Fuck me D&D is complicated: Combat Communications

Just to clarify here, the rules say that during combat the players can make ‘brief utterances’ during their turn. Well I say rules are there to be cheesed. As a party that has by now travelled and fought extensively together you will have ways of communicating what you are going to do and so I’m not that fussed about more lengthy strategy, especially at the start of combat, or those wonderful moments when something has just gone very, very wrong.

Mostly though, it’s an issue of timing. If the wizard on their turn shouts to the fighter “I’m going to Fireball the doorway next!” and then the fighter, on their turn, grapples a nearby goblin and throws it into the doorway where the rest of goblins are bottlenecked and then runs the fuck out of range, that’s fine.

If, however, the wizard says nothing on his turn but then when the fighter starts running towards the doorway, on the fighter’s turn, decides to shout “Oh noes, I was going to Fireball there!” thus causing the fighter to change what he was doing, that’s a subtle but important difference.

Eh, most of the time I don’t care. Consistency? Eat more bran or something, I don’t give a shit about it.

Bat Seriously

Abelas lamented that the one time something was in melee range of him <he’s a fucking Bladesinger ffs> that his Vampiric Touch probably wouldn’t work on it.

Legendary actions are used by boss monsters and they occur at the end of another creature’s turn. They renew at the start of each round. So basically, the vampire gets his normal go and then another three actions on top of that.

DM> In this case he is going to use two of his legendary actions to make a bite attack, and it shouldn’t surprise you to learn that he has advantage on a grappled target.

The DM rolled a 6 and a 7 <sigh> there was a little bit of swearing at that point.

Twice! Twice that little <expletive deleted> avoided my attacks, how is this possible? Which of the dark gods must I appease to end this run of accursed luck?!

It was a good idea but sadly for Matt ‘daylight’ is merely bright light and the vampire is specifically weak to ‘sunlight’ which, because fuck me D&D is complicated, is not the same thing.

Nice try though dude.

The Driftglobe description does not mention taking an action so it is still Cru’s turn:

The shiny one presented some kind of holy symbol at me, I felt a force attempting to rip me from this world but whatever god was behind it had not the heart or the simple bad manners to banish one as obviously well bred and meticulously groomed as myself!

The vampire gets +9 to Charisma saves, the DM rolls a 9 and the Banish takes no effect.

Clay lands one of his two attacks for an unimpressive 8 but then Action Surges and lands both the follow up hits, plus a Trip Attack, for a much heftier total of 30 damage and knocks the vampire prone.

The cad knocked me to the ground! Much as I desired to teach the impudent peasant some much needed lessons in respect, the sad one was my target!

At the end of that barrage, the vampire uses a legendary action to move his speed, without provoking an attack, over to the lone druid and away from the pack by the fire.

The DM did feel that would be somewhat cheesy and so left the wizard behind as he ran over next to Joffrey.

Batter Late Than Never

Time for Clarice to join the fray! She emerged from the undergrowth and my heart melted once again at the sight of my feral beloved. She moved to flank the druid, now we pin him and feed!

A female vampire spawn, who had hitherto been unseen in the foliage and the mist, ran up to flank the druid! Oh noes!

The DM leads off with a bite attack and rolls a 19!

In terms of basic attacks, yes, the spawn have a lower CR and thus a lower to-hit and lower damage but otherwise they are pretty much the same with an unarmed and a bite attack. However, a full vampire has a host of cool extra abilities like Charm or Call of the Night which summoned the bat swarms. Then of course, the vampire also gets legendary actions and legendary resistances.

DM> Now the bite hits, that is 6 piercing damage and 7 necrotic damage. Your hit point maximum is reduced by the amount of necrotic damage taken until you long rest.

Clarice bit deep, the blood streaming from her lips, oh how I wanted to taste them at that moment but no, the sad one was our feast now.

<sigh> It took a while for the DM to look up this particular bit of cheese. The issue was not the grapple but the description about teleporting items of your carrying capacity. The spell makes it clear that the weight of an object matters for the teleport so how is a person different from an object?

‘Coz fucking magic’ was the DM’s eventual decision on that particular written spell description, as was ‘let the cheese happen and then make him pay for it’. And so, the squishy wizard runs right up to two vampires, teleports their lunch away and drops a thunderbolt on them for good measure.

Nooo! That… ‘elf’ just ran in there, grabbed our meal and a booming wave of thunder momentarily staggered my beloved and I and when we recovered our meal was gone! The sad one and the wizard were standing several yards away, the wizard looking smugly back at me! Impudent wretch! I would make him pay!

Guess who just hit the top of the vampire’s shit list?

Joffrey drops the amazingly productive Wind Wall and casts Call Lightning instead.

Joffrey> <pointing to another hitherto unseen spawn lurking in a nearby bush> I’ve er… just spotted this boy in here.. is he meant to be there?

DM> <casually> Er… don’t know what you’re talking about.

The DM had in fact sneaked Ormintroyd onto the table some time earlier.

Morticus and Clarice got walloped by the druid’s lightning.

The sad one appears to be some tree worshipping nature lover who manifested lightning from the heavens. I cared not, I had my target!

Clearly I had to resort to somewhat more devious measures to deal with this wretch, perhaps a charm to turn him against his companions!

He appeared to have the mental fortitude of a gherkin and yet he rebuffed my clearly superior psychic abilities! Is he somehow protected? Do the gods somehow favour this barely-perambulatory varlet?!

Matt attempts to warn Jake about repeatedly foiling the DM’s plans but Jake recognises he’s probably fucked anyway and gives not one toss. Well, we can make him care, oh yes, oh yes we can!

The DM informs the party that the vampire regenerated a bunch of hit points at the start of the turn and Regulus sets about removing those again by giving him a damned good fisting.

At the end of the Artificer’s turn the vampire makes another unarmed attack against Abelas at +9 for a total of 21. Abelas, cheese wizard extraordinaire, has an AC of 23. However, he has very few hit points and sooner or later one of these will land.

Cru activates his Sun Blade:

Cru lands two swipes with the Sun Blade, dealing radiant damage. The DM missed the knock on effect of this at the time (it stops the regeneration) but it got caught later.

Oh how it burned! There was little strength in the blows but that blade was anathema to my kind! Luckily the wielder did not seem to truly be the master of his weapon!

Cru had forgotten that the Sun Blade does extra damage to the undead and the DM had trusted matt to know wtf he was doing and so hadn’t looked it up either. Great work from both!

The vampire missed yet another unarmed attack on Abelas. That’s ok though, every miss makes an upcoming crit that tiny bit more inevitable.

And still this whoreson managed to evade my every attack! Very well, I would approach this from a different angle. He must have a weakness! I would find out what he cared about most and I would take it from him!

Clay wades in, bemoaning the crowded nature of the fight that stops him getting a flanking bonus. He still manages a Legana double-tap for 27 damage though.

This peasant hit remarkably hard, I would take care of him once the gangly cretin had fallen before me! Or.. maybe this would be Ormintroyd’s doom? Or his next meal?

It’s time to play dirty:

I caught his gaze and penetrated his mental defences with ease, I ransacked his recent memories for a thing I could twist from him, to make him suffer as we ripped it to pieces before him. I saw… a four-legged shape… the colour white.. and… A NAME!

The DM starts counting squares:

Yes! BINKY!

Detect Thoughts

For the duration, you can read the thoughts of certain creatures.

You initially learn the surface thoughts of the creature – what is most on its mind in that moment. As an action, you can either shift your attention to another creature’s thoughts or attempt to probe deeper into the same creature’s mind. If you probe deeper, the target must make a Wisdom saving throw. If it fails, you gain insight into its reasoning (if any), its emotional state, and something that looms large in its mind (such as something it worries over, loves, or hates).

Absolutely Fangtastic

Ormintroyd attacks with his claws… and rolls a 1. “Every miss is a step closer to a crit” the DM kept telling himself, wistfully.

It makes another claw attack… and crits!

Indeed, now they do know.

Now however, it is Abelas’ turn and he dithers mightily but the DM Morticus knew exactly which button to press and the outcome was inevitable! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ouch!

True though!

Abelas Misty Steps out of the melee party and runs up to the vampire spawn. He multi-attacks for the first time ever and misses with both.

Now for this bit, please bear in mind that both the DM and Adam are very, very tired. It explains a lot going fowards.

Joffrey> I’m going to become Panic Snake, I meant to do it last turn but that’s my fault. So that’s my bonus action, or action? Let’s use an action, why not?

The DM wasn’t paying attention and missed that last bit about actions. I’d like to apologise to Adam for that because if I’d caught it, I would have saved him some pain later and some cheese in the short and mid-terms. Yes, Adam fucked up (as we all do) but the DM knows the rule and just missed it so it was my fault.

Adam thought that 5ft radius meant one 5ft square. The DM starts laughing, mainly at the fact that no one else said anything, they just let him nuke them.

There was much laughter and swearing as everyone rolled and then Joffrey rolled a fairly high 21 damage. That was one of his highest damaging attacks of the entire campaign too!

At the end of that fairly epic turn, Morticus uses a legendary action to move towards Abelas without provoking any attacks.

The fool cared more for his horse than he did for himself or his companions… although having met them, that was understandable. Now he was isolated and vulnerable. Ormintroyd could hold the group by the fire whilst Clarice and I had fun with this slippery rodent!

The first attack makes the wizard use another Shield but the second is a 17 roll plus 9. Ouch.

Another One Bites the Dust

With his last remaining 8 hit points depleted, Abelas hits the floor.

WIZARD DOWN!

You steal my food and run away! Now YOU are my food! Then I’ll eat your horse too!

The DM then got very confused about what stops the vampire regenerating, goes full-Adam and is adamant it is not radiant but then bothers to read ALL of the description and finds out that it is, in fact, also radiant damage <sigh>

Back at the melee huddle near the fire, the appearance of a very large Panic Snake has not made manoeuvring any easier:

Er.. ok.

Poor Ormintroyd was Thunder-Fisted, taunted, Legana’d, bitten, constricted and dragged off.

My vitality was running low due to that accursed cleric with his blade of fire stopping my regeneration. I could feel the tide of battle turning against us. I needed sustenance to heal my wounds and thankfully a handy repository of blood lay at my feet!

In the midst of all that, Morticus uses two of his legendary actions to make a bite attack on the incapacitated Abelas and regains 7 hit points. This does make Abelas fail a death save, so that’s one down.

Morticus is on the receiving end of a level 4 Guiding Bolt (twenty-fucking-three to hit!) from Cru, which is also fucking radiant because fucking cleric cheese <sigh>.

MY EYES!

This led to an extended discussion on BLM, the fight for gay rights, Norman Tebbit being a god amongst mere mortals, benefits scroungers vs benefits for the needy, having kids but never having worked, the life expectancy of a senior NCO in the forces in 1985 (55), and 20mph speed limits in towns.

That was about a 15 minute mass-rant by everyone present all thanks to Adam going for a piss <sigh>

Clay wants to longbow the enemies near Abelas’ impending exsanguinated corpse unconscious partly-exsanguinated body, but there’s a spawn adjacent to the fighter causing him disadvantage on ranged attacks.

The first arrow attack was a rather disappointing 2 but the follow-up was a 20!

That’ll teach the DM to be generous.

Ormintroyd bites Clay with advantage from the grapple and heals himself a bit.

Clarice attacks and grapples Cru and then with his last legendary action for the round Morticus moves to a flanking position on the cleric with the nice hair.

Lastbelas fails a second death save with a miserable 3. One die from death!

Adam assured everyone that accidentally nuking most of the party was not the reason he sounded so depressed but was actually the highlight of his day and he was just tired.

Joffrey’s turn and here the DM compounds his error not paying attention earlier and again misses Joffrey casting Call Lightning as a bonus action when it is, in fact, an action <sigh>.

Regulus asks if anyone has done radiant damage this turn. The DM points out that A) it’s actually the start of the turn and B) if not for the radiant damage my vampire lord would have 40 more hit points right now!

Fucking clerics.

Always Look On The Bite Side Of Life!

Much like the squopping octopus from a previous campaign, the DM cannot possibly do justice to the noises Adam made in text, but I’ll try.

Joffrey wants to drag the spawn down towards the other two enemies south of the fire. This is hideously complicated because the spawn is grappling Clay. The DM rules that Joffrey/Panic Snake, enjoying a considerable size advantage over the spawn, and having assistance from Clay, can drag the undead half the snake’s movement speed uncontested if Clay is willing.

Turns out Clay was willing and we got that conga line a-movin’!

Some time later.

The DM explains why the vampire is attacking Cru; the radiant damage is fucking him up whereas the wizard is down and out and not a threat.

A grapple and a bite both land and Cru loses another 7 points off his maximum. Jake has linked a snake jazz video in Discord but it bugged on him and he’s now permanently stuck with it on loop. The DM lets him suffer for a few minutes but then takes pity and deleted it from the channel.

Down, Bat Not Out

Regulus is worried about how the fight is going but the DM points out that Morticus is a bit buggered. Being a bit buggered he burns two of his legendary actions on another bite attack against Cru and recovers another 7 points..

DM> Cru is the only thing keeping him in the fight right now!

Cru has a conundrum however, he can Healing Word the wizard but he’s likely to take 4 attacks from the two vampires flanking him next turn. He also needs to deal radiant damage to Morticus to stop him regenerating. This causes a bit of a discussion on tactics.

Wizard back up!

DM> The vampire sighs heavily.

<sigh>

Cru attempts to Sun Blade Morticus. Abelas is worried about Cru’s health but the DM points out (to some amusement), that Cru does in fact have plot armour for fairly obvious reasons, so he might get a bit battered but he won’t die-die.

Probably.

The War Cleric lands a hit with the radiant blade (cheese!) and Morticus retaliates with a legendary action attack but misses.

Abelas is getting really excited about killing the vampire but Clarice runs over next to him on her turn and Lastbelas suddenly had something else to worry about. Cru lands the attack of opportunity and only just realises that the Sun Blade does an extra 1d8 to undead. Lolz.

Fangs, But No Fangs!

Clarice twats Lastbelas and KO’s him again.

WIZARD DOWN (AGAIN)

She then runs back and twats Cru.

Obviously we now had to look that up.

I’ll Have Mine… De-coffin-ated!

(not sorry!)

Morticus makes the save with plus 9 to Dex but it doesn’t matter, he had 10 hit points left and Joffrey rolled 21 damage.

VAMPIRE DOWN!

Well, sort of.

The DM explains Misty Escape:

Misty Escape.

When it drops to 0 hit points outside its resting place, the vampire transforms into a cloud of mist (as in the Shapechanger trait) instead of falling unconscious, provided that it isn’t in sunlight or running water. If it can’t transform, it is destroyed. While it has 0 hit points in mist form, it can’t revert to its vampire form.

The session ends because the mist-form is a nice break, the fight may end soon but there’s a bit more to the encounter.

End of session.

Next time on Ten-foot Squares:

– Will they mange to get Cru killed despite his plot armour?

– Will Binky survive?

– Will Abelas now become a vampire spawn-thrall of the DM? (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Tune in next week to find out!

Post-session Guff

Morticus got a few upgrades some of which are a tad unbalanced but you guys managed well.

Fucking snake jazz though, really?!