SKT Episode 14: Knocking One Off

Starring Avengers Anonymoose:

Also Starring:

That Which Must Be Repeated: This campaign contains hard encounters. It is often not required for all of you to kill all of them in order to succeed!

Season Recap: Chapter 1 – A Great Upheaval

– The party have save the fortified village of Nightstone from goblins following an attack by Cloud Giants from a floating castle (that went east).

– The characters travelled to Triboar and on the way met a cloud giant called Zephyros who travels in a floating tower. He explained that the ‘ordning’ (which regulates giant society) is broken and the players are destined to fix it.

– They helped defend the town of Triboar from a fire giant attack and travelled to Everlund to bring word of the attack to the Harpers there. They were given access to the Harper’s teleportation network.

– Having robbed a poor devil-worshipping family in Silverymoon and then robbed a watch captain in Yartar for a magic axe, they were on the way to Goldenfields when they were side tracked by an ‘Adventurers Wanted’ poster from Beliard.

Pre-session Guff

The DM doubles and then triple checks he is actually recording what he thinks he is recording, which makes a change.

Matt couldn’t make it because he has a PTA meeting. I don’t think I need to say any more about that.

Sophie will not be making her online debut as she has caught the COVID, apparently, and can’t make it. I don’t think I need to say any more about that either.

Christina has decided sleep is more important than D&D. I don’t think I need to say any more about that as well.

It seems Jake is unwilling to make it on time and Adam is due any day now and so might be making a rapid departure.

Matt did make it after all because “reading calendars is hard” and the PTA meeting was last night.

Adam played as Elvira and Regulus will be playing Isaac as the DM already has two friendly NPCs to control.

Jake finally joins.

As the DM reset the table to something more sensible it was confirmed that Clay had attuned the Giantslayer Battleaxe.

Jake was depressed because he only had one Coke left. The DM countered that with being depressed because he just found out Greggs now does deliveries (this is very, very bad). Jake countered this depression with the more depressing fact that the Nandos 10 minutes from his house does deliver… just not to his house.

Jake, the plant eating vegan, then dissed McDonalds and will now be shit on by the DM for the immediate future:

DM> I will be rolling on my desk tonight instead of out in the open like normal!

This, somehow, led to a discussion on how the player’s characters reflected their personalities:

Like I said before, think of it as a Haka; lots of posturing and silly faces. After that opening exchange of pleasantries, we started the session.

Tight Quarters

Most of tonight’s action will occur on this map of the Stone Bridge:

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The DM points out that the bridge is 20ft wide. The lore may say it is 15ft but the DM can’t make a nice looking 15ft bridge on Tabletop Simulator so in our particular branch of the multiverse the dwarves did a better job of it and made it 20ft wide. It is also 1,200ft high as to be more like the artwork than the 400ft it says it is in the book.

There’s also a Fire Giant and a couple of Hell Hounds on it.

Last week the party had met a dwarf named Dulron and a human that asked to be called Ember as he was reluctant to give his full name as he has enemies in the area. The pair were waiting for others to cross as these are dangerous times to be caught alone atop a 20ft wide bridge with no hand rails that goes a really long way above a really big river. They agreed to all cross together for safety (mainly for the DM’s safety in case he got this one a bit wrong).

The DM mis-wrote ‘Giant’ on the initiative board and instead managed to write ‘Giants’. Despite there being a number of comments directed at the DM that distinctly sounded like “FOGOF”, sadly the ‘adventurers’ weren’t adventurous enough to accept the DM’s generous offer of ‘fight one, get one free!’.

The mighty fire giant rolled a truly impressive one for its initiative and as it has minus one to Dex that gave it a final score of zero. Great start to the night DM <sigh>. The upside of this is that a potential disaster has significantly reduced in likelihood. They should be able to take care of the giant before it gets to them but initiative and dice rolls can mess that up.

He has a point.

We then had a brief reminiscence of the time they seriously considered setting off an Orb of Devastation (1 mile earthquake range) inside an underground temple that they were standing in at the fucking time <sigh>. The DM really needs to get his arse in gear and post the rest of those PoA write-ups online. I’ll do it soon in all that spare time I don’t have.

Regulus> I really wish I was ranged-spec for this one

Indeed.

Measuring, Counting and Reading is Hard

While the following is probably about as interesting as watching paint dry, I’m going to include it to show some issues we had. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and the next time the DM makes this kind of map it’ll have different tile sets weaved into it.

Joffrey> I think there is 250ft between us…

He starts counting, loses count, starts again, the DM helpfully puts a counter down where he said the 100ft mark was, or though it was, Joffrey loses count and starts again

There were another couple of minutes of this while we sometimes helpfully and often unhelpfully tried to aid Adam in measuring distances on the bridge.

Try and remember everyone laughing at Joffrey for his inability to count squares. You aint seen nothing yet.

Regulus uses the Bag of Tricks to summon the mighty Anonymoose but stuffs up the roll and gets a weasel except the DM can’t find a weasel mini and so this particular Bag of Tricks summons a Racoon. The Racoon is named Mattroll because you have to roll a 1 to summon it.

This is clever, funny and abusive and therefore the DM heartily approves.

Abelas did nothing. Adam\Elvira takes a shot at the giant at disadvantage and misses. Regulus is amazed that Adam has managed to make Elvira shit. The second arrow is a 22 to-hit and that does indeed hit.

Ok, let’s examine the amazing plan these two geniuses are congratulating themselves over shall we? This also highlights Adam’s utter inability to read spell or ability descriptions properly, although, frankly, the DM expects better of Mike but he has spent a lot of time talking to Adam lately.

The giant would not be blind, he would be unable to see further than 5ft so, as he is 15ft wide, he could still see the bridge and the edge of it. He is 250ft away so he isn’t going to be throwing any rocks anyway (and he doesn’t have any) so all he is going to do is sprint forwards 60ft. Shadow Arrow in no way impedes his ability to do this and would be a complete waste of one of the Arcane Archer’s two magic arrow abilities.

As Drikk Fra-Kar, six-time grand champion of the Luskan extreme arena once said: “What’s that stupid game you have over there? Where they chase the little ball and all applaud politely but insincerely? Yeah, fucking golf, that’s it! Golf-clap fuckers, golf-fucking-clap!”

Adam however, having been given the choice of two things to use, obviously wants to use both of them, preferably all at once, but still hasn’t actually read the fucking ability description properly:

<sigh> We are such a bunch of <expletive deleteds> to each other.

It’s funny as hell though so I don’t think we’ll be stopping any time soon.

Now admittedly, the above sarcasm and snark by the DM is somewhat unwarranted because this is not Adam’s or Mike’s character and they have never played an Arcane Archer before, but fuck ‘em.

I love you guys really!

But seriously, fuck ‘em.

The DM’s quick and dirty guide to Magic Arrow choice:

Shadow Arrow will stop ranged attacks or a lot of spells that require you to see what you are casting at and thus it is nice to use against ranged attackers. It is really effective at what it does but the downside is that the blind component fails if the victim makes the save so using it is a gamble. To offset that, it does extra psychic damage and that is rarely resisted.

Grasping Arrow has no save. If you hit with the attack, you automatically get to apply the restriction. On a ranged attacker that won’t mean much unless it is forced to move but a melee attacker has to either continually suck up the -10ft movement and the recurring damage or waste an action tearing off the thorns. This is really effective but the downside is that it does poison damage and that is quite commonly resisted. Undead and Elementals for instance, generally give no tosses at all about being hit with poison.

Fuck Me, D&D is Complicated: Help!

Be sure to at least read the last section of this as it has a new house rule in it.

During the above section, Matt made a suggestion about the Help action and there was a bit of a discussion about its uses in combat and the DM said he thought it didn’t apply (it didn’t at the time; it’s a melee thing) but would look it up so here it is.

This is what the book says:

You can lend your aid to another creature in the completion of a task. When you take the Help action, the creature you aid gains advantage on the next ability check it makes to perform the task you are helping with, provided that it makes the check before the start of your next turn.

Alternatively, you can aid a friendly creature in attacking a creature within 5 feet of you. You feint, distract the target, or in some other way team up to make your ally’s attack more effective. If your ally attacks the target before your next turn, the first attack roll is made with advantage.

So the Combat use is pretty straight forward and pretty limited. It does apply to Wizard familiars so you can use one to distract an enemy, just expect it to get swatted next turn.

Out of combat is a bit tricky because as-written everyone will assist on everything and thus any non-combat roll could be made with advantage. To offset this, a lot of DMs (including me) generally run with a house rule that you must be proficient in the skill you are assisting with.

However, going forwards, if you are not proficient, but can convincingly describe to the DM exactly how you would assist, and that your character would be able to do such a thing, then that would be allowed. For example, the party face is ‘negotiating’ and you interrupt with a really awkward fact that diminishes the opponent’s argument, then the DM will allow that to count as a Help action.

Adam, just to manage your expectations, and because I know how your D&D brain works, pretty much anything you try will be regarded as ‘fucking cheese’ and be met with the response of ‘Fuck no, fuck off!’.

However, please do still try it as I can use a good laugh.

Particularly Athletical

Clay longbows it at disadvantage but misses with both shots. Genuine sympathy was expressed by the other players (for a change).

Ember moves forwards, muttering a variety of complaints about fire giants and fire resistances and preps an action.

The hell hounds have a speed of 50ft and they dash a further 50ft.

Joffrey drops a Spike Growth on the bridge such that the hell hounds will have to travel through the entire length of it. The DM is already planning to cheese it though.

Mike\Isaac moves forwards and casts Bless on Clay, Elvira and Regulus.

Regulus summons a second pet from the Bag of Tricks:

Regulus> Please don’t be Boarax! Please don’t be Boarax!

It was Boarax, obviously.

It is Abelas’ turn and despite the urging from the DM he did not Fireball the hell hounds.

For those of you think the DM shouldn’t be doing this, A) Fuck you and B) How else are they going to figure out they are immune to fire if they don’t try it right? Right.

I was helping my player, obviously.

And if you believe that I have this handy stone bridge I now need to sell…

They then discussed casting “Tiny Butt” on the bridge and cowering inside it. The giant would end up sitting on it for eight hours and then, when it expires, the thing they really, really, don’t want in melee range of them would be in melee range of them.

“Golf-clap fuckers, golf-fucking-clap!”

Adam\Elvira attacks again and misses again. Regulus reminds her she has Bless. This then hits! Bless is a very underestimated spell, especially when you are attacking a high AC enemy. Its main drawback is the concentration as the cleric usually has something better to spend it on but paladins or other hybrid casters should use this a lot.

Clay plinks at a hell hound and hits for 8 damage.

Ember, eyeing up the bridge, drops a sarcastic comment about how congested it is. This is because the DM has thought ahead and realised the two wizards are going to be throwing lightning bolts up the middle of the bridge. The players don’t seem to have thought of this though. Oh well, never mind, it’ll be fine I’m sure.

The barrage hits for 33 damage.

DM Cheese is the Best Cheese

It’s the hell hounds turn:

Several notable things happened here. Watching it back the DM realises he cheesed an extra 5 ft of the jump because measuring is hard. We had a mini discussion on jump rules in combat with Adam and Matt helping the DM immensely to sort this shit out (that is not sarcastic (I know, right?!)). The DM decides to restrict jumping in hazardous terrain to ‘in but not out’ because, as he put it at the time “You try jumping in knee-high mud”. Sure, you can jump into it, but try jumping out of it.

Everyone seemed reasonably happy at this interpretation which makes the DM think he fucked up somehow.

The hell hounds landing in the spike growth have to make a check or fall prone. One made it, one did not. In future episodes, landing in hazardous terrain will incur damage as if you moved 5ft through it.

Joffrey drops a Tidal Wave on the hell hounds. Isaac “Guided” Bolted hell hound 2 and kills it.

There. Are. FIVE. Squares!

(That’s a Star Trek reference for the true nerds)

So, remember earlier when we were all taking the piss out of Joffrey because he couldn’t count squares on the bridge? Yeah.

As Drikk Fra-Kar, six-time grand champion of the Luskan extreme arena once said: “Karma has much in common with my first wife; she’s fucking psychic, she just knows when you fucked up and she will make you pay for it!”

So the DM is getting confused counting and attempts to place gradient marks on the bridge to make it all easier for everyone. How fucking hard can that be right? Right.

All I had to do was count 5 squares and make a mark. The first attempt ended up with two 5-square marks and three 4-square marks.

<sigh> It got worse from there. There were four more 4-square fuckups, an accidental deletion of the Spike Growth, a complete comedy mental breakdown when ‘helping’ hands were left on the bits that needed counting\marking and a random line that ended up going from the bridge to the river.

DM> Future Gary; record just how long that mess took you!

It was 4m42s to make 6 small marks on a bridge made of uniform squares <sigh>

Adam decided now was the time to mention a work-related anecdote about a Racoon that led to Mike un-summoning Mattroll. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

There was a discussion about spells that turned into speculation about Ember’s spell list:

Abelas suddenly realises he is standing right on the edge of the bridge. However, it was also his turn and the DM suggested a retaliatory Thunderwave. Sadly he did not have it prepped.

Adam> I’d like to point out Jake, that you are five feet away from a new character!

Indeed, thus highlighting the tricky nature of this fight.

Adam\Elvira misses and it becomes apparent that the fire giant is rocking an AC of 22. This is the highest the DM has ever stuck on anything in any fight before. Absolutely nothing can go wrong!

At this point in the fight various characters are advancing up the bridge to get within range of the giant. The DM is unsure of the wisdom of this. Distance is your friend in this fight and the giant will be in range sooner or later.

Clay’s response to the DM’s concern was fairly good though: “What’s the point of having a giantslayer battleaxe if you don’t get it up in the giant’s face?”

Ember is out of range and isn’t stupid enough to run at a fire giant so he holds his action.

The DM admits to a cheese-move of the highest order as he has the remaining Hound jump further towards the edge of the Spike Growth and then runs out the rest of the way taking some damage. It dashes and runs up next to Clay.

Joffrey cast Produce Flame and threw it at the hell hound. The fire damage did surprisingly little damage to the flaming hound from hell. Who’d a thought, eh?

Mike\Isaac casts Spiritual Weapon and Isaac’s holy symbol makes its first appearance. It’s a light bulb and it illuminates the hell hound nicely.

The fire giant long jumps a remarkable 25ft into the Spike Growth patch and pisses all over the Dex save!

By ‘pissing all over’ I mean he rolled an 11 and gets -1 to Dex but the save is 10. Never in doubt.

Regulus uses his last summons of the day, rolls a 7 and that means a Dire Wolf. It was named Insensitive Bastard in honour of Joffrey <sigh>. The DM then accidentally dropped Insensitive Bastard off the bridge.

Adam questions exactly what he did to deserve having the wolf named in such a manner and both Jake and Mike took great delight in reminding him.

Abelas now encounters the problem the DM saw coming two hours ago; he wants to cast Lightning Bolt up the bridge but the middle of the bridge is full of summoned pets, wayward archers and suicidal fighters. So the squishiest party member runs towards the oncoming fire giant. Well, that’s one way of doing it.

The DM realises that Ember missed his held action and the giant has indeed reached the trigger point:

Particularly Dextrous

Obviously, because Ember went out of turn, the DM manages, again, to totally fuck up the initiative. Interesting word ‘initiative’; I type it multiple times on a weekly basis but it just took me four attempts to get it right and I had to resort to a right-click spell-check because typing was suddenly inexplicably hrad.

Joffrey re-casts Spike Growth so the giant has to traverse most of its length. The giant, moving at half speed due to the difficult terrain, has to walk all the way through the spikes taking a fair chunk of damage, but now it is free! Free to cause havoc and punt players gleefully from the bridge!

It is 25ft from the closest player and not a lot of its hit points are missing. The DM is getting a tad concerned at this point but figures it is about to take a ton of damage over the next turn. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

Regulus casts Web at it and then moves the two summons up towards the giant.

Abelas and maths then happened as the wizard moves forward a bit to get a clear shot:

This particular glimpse into the workings of the DM’s brain led to several seconds of silence followed by laughter and comments about the unnecessary complexity of the calculation, the remarkable fact that it resulted in the right answer and the use of the phrase “knock one off”

Adam\Elvira hit the giant with another Grasping Arrow and then Action Surged and rolled two ones on the next two attacks. Even Matt was impressed by that level of fail. This obviously led to a large amount of mockery and abuse with Mike wondering if he should message Christina and see if she could come on and sort this shit-show out.

Clay, having waited two hours to get a melee attack in with the Giantslayer Axe, is still denied because there’s a web in the way so he resorts to javelins.

Well, that at least puts the DM’s mind to rest that we aren’t about to have a spate of water-related ‘severe deceleration syndrome’ deaths (it aint the fall that kills you Buttercup!).

DM> You need to get Clay in there; action surge plus a Giantslayer with auto-crits… yeah.

Adam has been conspicuously quiet for a couple of minutes and now when Joffrey is called upon, Thunderstruck starts playing in Discord and Call Lightning is summoned to the bridge.

Jake calls for a moment to appreciate the music and the DM recommends Mike watches the best non AC/DC version by Steve ‘N’ Seagulls.

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Joffrey> <smugly> Can it make a Dex save? Oh wait! No, no it can’t.

A lightning bolt streaks out of the storm cloud and hits the giant for 26 damage.

The giants fails the Hold Creature save again and is now paralysed for another turn. That’s this fight over pretty much, it’s just a case of how they end it now, in style or by being dicks.

So we have been in this fight for nearly 2.5 hours and now Mike wants Boarax to attack the 22 AC giant <sigh>

Between Regulus, Boarax and Insensitive Bastard we rivalled a Jake turn in length and accomplished about as much.

Look, it isn’t harsh if it’s true AND funny, right?

The DM suddenly doesn’t care anymore. Major Butthurt is at the table! The DM isn’t on full angry rant mode but he is definitely irritated (more than usual!)

But don’t worry Clay, the DM can fix it for you!

Abelas casts some shit the DM was no longer paying attention to and hits for some damage the DM didn’t bother to subtract.

Clay hits the fire giant with a +1 Giantslayer axe (2d6), plus his damage (a lot) plus he uses a Superiority Die for a Push Attack AND all of that gets added again but maxed for the crit.

Clay> Fifty one damage!

FUCK YEAH! FIRE GIANT DOWN!

The fire giant had no rocks or valuables but he did have the large rod which Clay attuned at the next rest:

Rod of the Vonindod – Rod, rare (requires attunement)

The fire giant duke Zalto hired a wizard to craft several of these adamantine rods. Each measures 4 feet long, weighs 100 pounds, and is sized to fit comfortably in a fire giant’s hand. The rod has two prongs at one end and a moulded handle grip on the opposite end.

The rod has 10 charges and regains 1d6 + 4 of its expended charges daily at dawn. As an action, you can grasp it by the handle and expend 1 charge to cast the Locate Object spell from it. When the rod is used to detect objects made of adamantine, such as fragments of the Vonindod construct, its range increases to 10 miles.

Adam Ruins the Big Climax

Some laughter and some abuse and some deep breaths… woooooo-saahhhhh.

DM> Uhh… <momentarily lost for words> <starts laughing> He er.. he calls you off to one side and says:

“There is an enclave forming to try and deal with the strange weather events that have been plaguing this area recently. We are looking to recruit suitable candidates. If you wish to leave these adventurers and do something more worthwhile with your time, come alone to Scarlet Moon Hall. Ask for me by name; Thermander, Bastian Thermander”

And then he puts spurs to horse and gallops away to the south.

Beliard (unflooded)

Beliard is a market-moot for local cattle drovers. It surrounds the intersection of the dusty Dessarin Road and the Stone Trail.

Beliard is home to many cattle ranchers whose herds roam the hills around the village, particularly to the east. The community has a public well, as well as a pond where harnessed horses or oxen can be driven through the water to bathe them, drive off flies, and let them drink. It also boasts a tanner, a smith, some horse dealers and trainers who keep extensive stables, and an inn: the venerable, popular, and several-times-expanded Watchful Knight. The inn was named for an inoperative helmed horror that once stood in the common room. The creature mysteriously vanished years ago, and the innkeeper went missing shortly thereafter.

They have a chat with the mayor and find out that hill giants have attacked many of the cattle ranches around Beliard. Every attack is the same: the giants ignore the ranchers and instead raid the animal pens, making off with pigs, sheep, chicken coops, and cattle. The ranch owners have pooled their resources and posted “Adventurers Wanted!” signs that promise a payment of 500gp to anyone who finds out where the hill giants’ lair is located.

They only need to locate the lair and then the mayor can petition the Lord’s Alliance to clear it out. In the meantime, if they know where the giants are coming from, they can post scouts and minimise the losses by moving the cattle away from any incoming giants.

Quest accepted, rest was rested and they set out to explore the southern hills. Some distance from the town they heard an awful moaning dirge being sung. They traced it to a nearby tower.

End of session.

Next time on Ten-foot Squares:

Tune in next week to find out!

Post-session Guff

“Charley Says” was mentioned by Mike. Mike and the DM then had to explain to the young’uns about really badly animated 1970’s public service announcements. Thankfully YouTube can remind everyone how much things were both better and worse in the old days.

Would you like to see a puppy?

Bastian Thermander – Bit part player to major villain. Who he is and why he matters.

In Princes of the Apocalypse this was Uffo Puddlefoot’s (AKA Chris\Uhffo) the Bard’s personal quest:

Uffo’s Personal Quest: You were performing in the Princely Innara tavern in Waterdeep, one of few places in your life you would have called home. A fight broke out, which wasn’t unusual, but a sorcerer started throwing around a lot of fire magic.

The place burned to the ground along with the innkeeper Robert Tollen and his daughter Yantha, whom you were very close to. You learned the sorcerers name was Bastian Thermander. Your investigations have turned up evidence he belongs to some cult forming in the Dessarin Valley and you have travelled here to make him pay for the deaths of your friends.

The Fire Temple: Uffo’s quest to locate Thermander led to many places, some torture and a few slit throats until they finally tracked him down to the Fire Temple. When they got to his quarters though, all they found was a note.

They found themselves in a hot but well-appointed room with slightly singed furnishings. A writing table held a scroll with a card on it saying ‘For the Bard’. The scroll reads as follows:

To My Dearest Admirer, Poohfo Piddlefeet,

From the first moment our representatives in Red Larch informed me that a common bard of middling talent, such as yourself, was anxious for an audience with me I was sure a great friendship lay ahead for us.

I hope this letter finds you in good health and I eagerly await each update from our agents, sincerely hoping you haven’t fallen prey to either the many dangerous creatures within the temple complex, or that unfortunate drinking habit you seem to have picked up somewhere.

You will have to forgive me; my own personal preference is for a delightful Waterdeep 1346 and I would have left you a bottle but I am informed you prefer a more.. er.. ‘rustic’ vintage and, alas, I have nothing of that quality in my cellar, though you might find something more to your taste in the maintenance closet.

As you are no doubt aware, large ‘morally-flexible’ organisations planning on world domination don’t just run themselves and unfortunately I am simply too busy to spare the time to meet with you at present. However, you are hereby cordially invited to the Grand Birthday Party of Imix the All Consuming Eternal Flame, Prince of Evil Fire.

The venue for this magnificent soiree will be The Weeping Colossus which can be found beneath the Fane of the Eye.

You now face a choice; you may elect to immediately charge down to the Colossus in your enthusiasm to meet me but you may fall short of the dress code for the party. Certain… protective items will be required for this event. However, should you dither overly long in the other nodes whilst putting together the perfect party outfit, you may find my mistress Vannifer, and Imix the All Consuming Eternal Flame to have departed and you may miss the party altogether.

I do hope we can meet soon and perhaps spend some time discussing past acquaintances we have in common, like the rather grumpy innkeeper Tollen and his delightful, if now slightly crispy, daughter Yantha.

Yours Very Sincerely,

Bastian

Uffo was particularly unhappy with the ‘Bard of middling talent’ bit and went looking for the maintenance closet, but only after pissing on Bastian’s pillow. Kroq was rather impressed with how triggered the DM had made Uffo.

Having got to the Weeping Colossus, shortly after Uffo accidentally murdered two innocent Temple of Tyr bods with a Fireball and was subsequently now Wanted (Alive, 3,000gp), there was an illusion of Bastian and another note:

My Dearest Uhffo Piddlefoot,

Once again I am astounded that a Bard of your talent managed to get this far. It pays to have powerful friends I suppose. I was so looking forward to making your acquaintance particularly so I could offer you some advice on dealing with the consequences of murdering innocent people with fire.

I never realised we were so alike given my obvious superiority in looks, intelligence, charisma, talent, education, fashion, sophistication and so on.

Alas, having successfully manipulated dear Vannifer into starting this cult, I never guessed she would be stupid enough to go through with actually summoning Imix. Thus, I have departed before the impending apocalypse.

Dear Albeari and I will be travelling to Neverwinter and you should look us up in the unlikely event you survive what is about to happen. I look forward to seeing you again and I may even attend your trial and subsequent execution. It should be quite a spectacle.

Best Wishes,

Your Eternal Friend,

Bastian Thermander

p.s. I left you a present. Just a little something I found in the maintenance closet.

The ‘present; was a bottle of degreaser.

So that’s Bastian. A low level boss who was supposed to just be an excuse to get into the larger plot but became something much more interesting along the way.