SKT Episode 8: Duel of the Snakes

Starring:

---

Author’s Note: Loot! The loot for this campaign has largely been generated by rolling on the loot tables in the DM’s Guide as per the campaign. However, this produced some deficiencies in the number of recommended items and those holes have been filled by the DM. An example of this was the Glamoured armour they got as a reward last week. All of the items from this week are legendary ‘levelling’ items that will increase in power as the players reach certain levels.

That Which Must Be Repeated: This campaign contains hard encounters. It is often not required for all of you to kill all of them in order to succeed!

---

Season Recap: Chapter 1 – A Great Upheaval

– The party have save the fortified village of Nightstone from goblins following an attack by Cloud Giants from a floating castle (that went east).

– The characters travelled to Triboar and on the way met a cloud giant called Zephyros who travels in a floating tower. He explained that the ‘ordning’ (which regulates giant society) is broken and the players are destined to fix it.

– They arrived in Triboar safely but soon the town came under attack by orcs and a pair of fire giants. They killed the orcs and left the giants alone. The giants dug up a piece of an enormous construct and carried it off.

– The party investigate the ruined house of the wizard Kolstaag and discovered a vault and a lamp. When the lamp was touched, a genie appeared! Some of the players thought they would get Wishes. At level6! Awww, isn’t that sweet?

Pre-session Guff

Rum and horses were discussed as was the DM’s wanted-poster facebook picture.

The players discussed the possibility of getting a Wish from the genie and using it to bring Q’Aren back. Yeah, wishes at level 6 aint happening but why spoil it for them at this stage?

Jake was mocked for his habit of running away from battle despite being a melee wizard.

The DM pointed out that they were in a town specialising in horses and teaching people to ride and they might want to think about buying some before they leave town and what they might want to name them if they do so. Adam immediately called dibs on Butt Stallion <sigh>

The travel benefits from horses are not huge but they do allow mounted combat in travel encounters. The DM promised not to deliberately have the horses get eaten at the first opportunity but did point out that they are squishy.

Ooh! That’s not going to be forgotten for a long time yet!

I Dream of Djinni

We start in the vault with the genie having just appeared.

The genie, Benjamin, explains that he is trapped in the lamp and that in order to free him the adventurers must face the ‘guardians’. If they are successful they will gain control of the lamp. If they then release Benjamin he will reward them with magical items of power, majesty, intrigue and mostly importantly; style!

Benjamin advises them to touch the lamp to start the challenge and they might want to back up a bit as they will need the room and Benjamin disappears in a puff of smoke.

Abelas wants to rest for an hour to attune the items he found in the ruined house.

Christina turned up during the planning phase. Clay volunteered to touch the lamp while everyone else backed off a bit. As Clay touched it a projected image of an hourglass appeared with about 30 seconds of sand remaining. Clay backed-the-truck up to join the rest of party in the middle of the vault.

As the timer runs out a force field slams down preventing anyone from exiting the vault. The lights drop to total darkness for a moment and as they come back on the group can see that they are facing… themselves.

6 doppelganger figures form a line in front of the plinth. Roll initiative!

I find your lack of initiative disturbing

The DM came up with this idea only the day before and didn’t really know how it was going to play out as he hadn’t been able to test it. Meh, it’ll be fine!

Also, I had a contingency plan.

The main advantage for the doppelgangers is that they will generally act in unison. The main disadvantage is that the DM won’t generally use anything other than basic abilities and spells.

The DM also set some basic constraints on his team, mainly that they had little or no regard for their own safety and they will act to maximise damage or take actions that will allow others to maximise damage.

As long as the players are a little bit tactical, they should be ok. Well, some of them should be ok because the other stipulation the DM has for his team is utter ruthlessness.

Jake rolled a 6, Adam a 10, Matt rolled a 1 (lolz) and Mike rolled a 3. Panic was setting in until the DM told them it wasn’t as bad as they thought.

There was a substantial amount of bickering that masqueraded as planning but essentially was just a cover for the player’s sniping at each other by proxy through the doppelgangers.

Once everyone had rolled they were individually asked to roll off against their doppelgangers who shared their initiative scores.

This means Doppelganger Abelas, or D-Abelas, will get to Fireball first. Ouch.

There was a brief delay while Adam managed to pick up and fuck up the initiative board somehow (explained later) and then had to work out how his wild-shape stats work. He rolled a wild-shape specialist druid but didn’t bother to look up how the stats work until it became an issue in-game <sigh>

Eventually, combat started.

A pointed exchange

Elvira, A.K.A. “The one who can hit shit”, was first up due to having a billion dex or something. Her response of “I’ll shoot the snake!” causes both consternation and delight amongst the players. Bear in mind that Christina wasn’t here last week and missed the start of the session and then had to level up from 5 to 6 so she was kind of dropped in at the deep end.

It was still funny though.

Once the DM had done what he should have done previously and bothered to explain what she had missed, a different target was chosen. However, during the recounting of events, Mike had noticed something.

And so Elvira shoots at D-Elvira, misses the first one and hits with the second one for 10 damage.

D-Elvira moves 30ft diagonally so that she gets a clear shot at Abelas cowering behind a brazier. Quite what the non-melee melee wizard was doing that close to the front lines is unknown because if he had been behind the rear brazier instead of the front one, he would have still been in cover. It was a real shame.

The first arrow hits for 17 and draws the inevitable cheesy Shield but the follow up hits so high it bypasses the extra 5 AC anyway. Abelas is immediately regretting not having Bladesong’d during the 30 second countdown.

The DM rolls damage and comes up with a 2 but then realises he used the wrong die:

Abelas fails the Wisdom save and is blinded to everything beyond 5ft.

Joffrey, in Giant Constrictor Snake form, slithers over to D-Elvira and launches a constrict attack. The DM puts a pause on everything and rolls back to do what he just forgot to do.

DM cheese is the best cheese!

The first attack misses again, the second attack hits again for another 8 damage and then the DM adds a Grasping Arrow for another 2d6 and rolls two sixes!

Abelas is KO’d and the DM refrains from having D-Elvira run away as that would be cheese even from the DM. Joffrey appreciated the gesture and repeated his constrict attack on D-Elvira who is now grappled and restrained.

CHEEEESE!

I don’t think we’ve had a Hearing is Hard moment since the several “Yes, the bloody tower is destroyed but yes, it still blocks the bloody wall!” moments from Nightstone.

I may have to 🙂

To be fair to Mike, Jake’s mini was tight up against the brazier but it’s not the mini that counts, it is the square it is in and Abelas was in the square behind the brazier and in full sight of the square D-Elvira was in.

Spike Growth, Spike Growth, where for art thou Spike Growth?

The DM peruses Joffrey’s spell list and despairs at all the nuking crap he has selected and the lack of many of the good spells, but we work with what we have.

A 50ft wall of wind appears across the middle of the map. Clay, Abelas and Boarax Thatmightchange need to make a Strength saves, which Abelas auto-fails. Boarax gets splattered against the wall and is killed. Clay stands firm, Abelas fails a death save.

D-Joffrey runs behind the plinth for cover ignoring Joffrey’s suggestion that he Wild Shape. D-Joffrey still has spells to cast!

D-Isaac Fireballs Clay, Isaac and Abelas and rolls 33 damage. That’s a second death save for Abelas. Isaac, also played by the DM (confused yet?) does his own retaliatory Fireball that hits all of the doppelgangers except D-Elvira for 23 damage.

D-Abelas steps up and the DM offers Jake the chance to play the enemy wizard. This caused a bit of a mini brain-fart and Jake had to refuse the temptation. The DM had D-Abelas Lightning Bolt Clay and Isaac because for some reason he thought the real Abelas was already dead. But he wasn’t. Oh well, opportunity missed.

Hello darkness my old friend

It wasn’t missed for long, it was Abelas’ turn and he rolled a 3 for his final death save. Wizard dead.

So we are now an hour into the fight and the DM finally remembers the specialist music he found; commence a medieval version of Duel of the Fates.

Duel of the Fates – Medieval Version

Looking at the replay I think at this point the DM accidentally killed Isaac instead of just knocking him out. Oops! It’s in the UA! Trust me, I’m a DM!

CHEEEESE! Well he should have been hit with the Wind Wall if the DM had thought about it, but still.

D-Regulus nukes Joffrey and then Regulus takes great delight in nuking D-Abelas.

Clay uses his Second Wind to regain hit points and then longbows D-Abelas knocking him out. He then advances on the restrained D-Elvira, hits her, Action Surges and hits her again with an added Trip Attack knocking her out and then with his last attack he longbows D-Isaac and rolls a crit! Nice round Clay!

D-Clay retaliates by running over and hits actual Clay twice for 21 which was exactly what was needed to knock out Clay. D-Clay then Action Surges and hits Joffrey once.

I’ve come to talk to you again

At the end of the round the rear two braziers go out and Abelas and Isaac get reincarnated at the back of the vault with full hit points but they have not recovered expended spell slots.

Elvira’s turn and the Wind Wall becomes a problem as it blocks normal arrows. At this point the DM on the fly homebrewed the rules to allow Arcane Archers to shoot magic arrows from Level 6. Monks get magic fists at level 6 and Arcane Archers are ARCANE archers so they bloody well should shoot magic arrows from quite early on. Now that the D&D world is a better place, back to Elvira’s turn!

Elvira shoots D-Isaac and KO’s him. D-Clay is the recipient of the second attack.

Ooooh!

Elvira rolls low, still hits due to having +10 on her attack rolls, and then a remarkable job of completely ignoring Mike’s advice about using a magic arrow, saving it until later. But not much later; ACTION SUUUURGE!

D-Clay gets hit by another arrow and more psychic damage and he only has two hit points left… but the Shadow Arrow works and he can’t see beyond 5ft. Oh noes! It’s ok though, Joffrey is next to him so he still has something worthwhile to hit.

Joffrey drops the unconscious D-Elvira and attempts to constrict D-Clay. He misses. “Is that is?” asks Regulus. Yes, that is it.

Legendary Cheese

D-Joffrey steps out from behind the plinth and Tidal Waves Joffrey, Clay (KO), D-Clay (2HP) and D-Elvira (KO).

Indeed.

The rush of water hits the druid for 4d8 but the snake still has 16 hit points left. Regulus laments the fact that if he had been knocked out of wild shape form “at least he would have been something useful”. Meeow.

Adam clicks on something weird in game:

Good times.

Having cast the spell the DM also has D-Joffrey turn into a Giant Constrictor Snake. This was only for the reason that it was really simple to copy paste the snake already on the table.

Oooh! There’s a lot of snark around tonight and Chris isn’t even here!

You sure bro?

He was right, Giant Constrictor Snake is a 60HP buffer to druids. Nice.

This is Abelas’s first turn since he got resurrected:

Abelas Fireballs the shit out of everything around the plinth. D-Regulus goes down and the snake has to roll for a save.

Isaac steps up and wants to cast a Fireball. Regulus interjects and wants a more single-target spell cast as all of the enemy are down except for the Giant Snowflake Snake. There was a remarkably long discussion about what should happen only for it to be a Fireball anyway <sigh>.

DM> D-Abelas fails it and takes a death save. D-Isaac fails it and is departed. Giant Snowflake <rolls a 4> but, you know, +7 to that because snakes are really dextrous… he still fails it.

Regulus nukes the snake twice and knocks the doppelganger druid out of snake-form.

KO’d Clay passes a death save but KO’d D-Clay goes one better, rolls a natural 20 on his death save and pops back up with 1 hit point. That won’t last long though right? They’ll just kill him straight away, right? Right.

End of round and dead D-Isaac comes back as the third brazier goes out.

At this point a short (I know, right?!) discussion took place about not killing the doppelgangers but to just KO them and then they shouldn’t resurrect via the braziers. There was also some discussion about killing the downed Clay with friendly fire so he would come back at full health.

Regulus> How do we know these last ones are generic ones and they aren’t only for them?

Ooh, good question. What the players don’t know is they are only for the doppelgangers. There are two resurrects each but the players have used both of theirs.

Clay is left bleeding out and was not summarily executed, which is a shame, and Elvira was talked into attacking D-Isaac instead of finishing off 1HP D-Clay. D-Isaac is hit with a Shadow Arrow, promptly stuffed the save and is blinded past 5ft.

Cheese on cheese

Joffrey the Giant Snowflake ran away from D-Clay provoking the attack of opportunity and promptly got hit for eleven damage. The DM has a thing about deliberately provoking attacks and so went full cheese and did a trip attack on the fleeing snake.

Hmm.

Joffrey Tidal Waves three of the doppelgangers and sadly a large boulder failed to materialise to splat him. He then used his second Wild Shape to turn back into a Giant Constrictor Snake.

Regulus was unimpressed:

Accurate answer at least.

D-Joffrey heals D-Abelas to get him back up as this maximises party damage output. He then copied Joffrey and also uses his second Wild Shape to turn back into a Giant Constrictor Snake.

Isaac Tolls the Dead on D-Clay and D-Clay made the save so still has 1HP left. The DM sighs and has Isaac Healing Word Clay.

D-Abelas Fireballs the crap out of everything in the far side of the room. Abelas retaliates with a Lightning Bolt on D-Himself and D-Joffrey. D-Joffrey obviously made the save as he gets +7 to Dex because snakes are very dextrous after all but D-Abelas gets roasted and is no more.

Oh dear <invokes heathen deity>

Totally random comedy interjection from Adam.

Double-Tap

Regulus shoots 1HP D-Clay and finally downs him again and the follows up with a shot at D-Isaac and downs him as well. Nice shootin’ Slick!

At the bottom of the map things have cleared out leaving the two shape-shifted druids facing each other. The music plays in the background; dit-dit-diddle-oo, dit-dit-diddle-oo

Clay longbows D-Joffrey and the round ends.

At this point the only doppelganger left up is D-Joffrey but all of the players except Isaac are up so the DM brings the fight to a conclusion as the lights go out once more and when they come back up everything is reset. All spell slots and hit points are restored.

Now I give my players a lot of grief (but they cause me a lot of grief so it’s fair) but this time they nailed it. Once they figured out the braziers they stopped short of taking out the doppelgangers and won the war of attrition. I didn’t know how this was going to turn out so well done everybody, good work!

I counted 6 Fireballs, a Lightning Bolt, a couple of Tidal Waves and a lot of sharp & pointy things and lightning being thrown about. Awesome.

Looty McLootface!

The DM informed the party that the last brazier was indeed for the doppelgangers and there was much amusement about how they nearly killed Clay to bring him back.

Benjamin reappears, congratulates the players and asks if they will set him free. They have a bit of chat about it during which some interesting assumptions were made (how do you know he actually is a Djinni?) but they agreed to free him and control of the lamp was relinquished.

“Reward time darlings!”

The DM issues a dire warning about the players taking anything other than the ‘dormant’ versions of these with threats of divine smitings and having their goodies taken away!

These items start as Dormant and then progress to Awakened and then Exalted, gaining new powers as the players level up.

Clay receives Legana, a stone greatsword:

---

Legana (Dormant)

Weapon (greatsword), uncommon (requires attunement by an Earth Genasi)

This sword appears to be made of stone and yet is no heavier than a normal greatsword. This is no primitive weapon; the sword is beautifully crafted and it seems to be carved from a single piece of flint. The blade has perfectly symmetrical concave serrations and appears to be indestructible.

Dormant: Greatsword +1

While attuned to Legana you gain Darkvision and Tremorsense to 30ft.

You may cast Absorb Elements at will, as a reaction three times per short rest.

---

Oh dear. Anyway, onwards!

Joffrey receives the Hide of the Feral Guardian

---

Hide of the Feral Guardian

Armor (studded leather), legendary (requires attunement)

It is believed that this polished and beautifully detailed leather armour was a gift from Melora, bestowed on a long-forgotten archdruid and champion of the natural world before the terrors of the Calamity.

Dormant

While wearing the armour in its dormant state, you gain the following benefits: The armour grants you a +1 bonus to AC.

While you are transformed by an effect that replaces any of your game statistics with those of another creature, you have a +1 bonus to melee attack and damage rolls, and you retain the benefits of this armour.

As an action, you can use the armour to cast polymorph on yourself, transforming into a giant owl while retaining your Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores. This property can’t be used again until the next dawn.

---

Adam obviously tried to immediately cheese the Awakened version <sigh>

Regulus receives a hefty looking utility belt with 6 pouches. Benjamin explains that there used to be a user manual but unfortunately it was incinerated… along with the last owner.

Benjamin seems somewhat glad to be rid of the item and tells Regulus to be careful with it.

---

Engineer’s Utility Belt (volatile)

This utility belt contains 12 charges that allow you to power a variety of gadgets.

All charges are recovered at dawn.

Dormant: 1 charge each

Grappling Hook – WARNING! Do not exceed cable length!

Aquabreather – Effects unknown

Goblin glider cloak – survival guaranteed or your money back!

---

Elvira receives a Stormsong Longbow which was originally part of a set but the Rapier and the Dagger are missing. There are rumours that the rapier has been seen in the hands of ne’er-do-well in the Red Larch area.

---

Stormsong Longbow

Weapon (longbow), uncommon (requires attunement by a by an Air Genasi)

Crafted by the master elven weaponsmiths of Silverymoon, legend has it that this bow was imbued with the maelstrom of energy resulting from the divorce of Drikk Fra-Kar and his third wife, the Air-Genasi Storm-Sorceress S’Zariel.

Made of rare darkwood and engraved with thin mithral lighting bolts, this longbow weighs half as much as a normal bow. Magical lightning flickers along the length of the engravings when the bow is fired.

Dormant: Longbow +1

While attuned to this weapon you gain Darkvision to 120ft and you can accurately predict the weather for the next 12 hours.

As Drikk Fra-Kar, six-time grand champion of the Luskan extreme arena once said: What can I say, I’m a sucker for dark blue hair and fiery tempers!

---

Isaac receives an item I won’t list here but will cover when Chris is next with us (mainly because I haven’t actually finished making it yet)

Abelas receives the Circlet of Faetriss

---

Circlet of Faetriss

Wondrous Item, uncommon (requires attunement by a by a Wizard)

Crafted at great expense as a wedding present for Drikk Fra-Kar’s second wife, Lady Faetriss. Returned at great speed (and imbued with a significant amount of negative psychic energy) during the divorce proceedings when it transpired that Lady Faetriss was in fact, a succubus.

Dormant: While attuned to this item, your Armour Class is 15 + your dexterity modifier

As Drikk Fra-Kar, six-time grand champion of the Luskan extreme arena once said: Still totally worth it!

---

Benjamin wishes the adventurers farewell and good luck against the giants and fades into his lamp which then fades from this plane of existence.

Horsey McHorsefaces

Back at the Lord Protector’s place they informed her that the wizard was dead and then had a conversation about whether to tell her about the Djinni and the fact that they released it.

Matt> This was the mistake we made in the Underdark where we kept not telling people what we’d done and then demons and dragons kept fucking up the cities.

The DM invoked D.I.C.K.S. (Decision Indicators for Controlling Key Strategies) for the first time this campaign. DICKS was free DLC released by the DM during the Princes of the Apocalypse campaign to streamline arguments strategy decisions while not lumbering characters with group decisions they are really uncomfortable with.

The debate wasn’t heated in any way but it was getting late. After discussions, the first stage of DICKS is the vote: Clay and Regulus wanted to tell her, Abelas and Joffrey did not. Elvira had the deciding vote and went with telling her.

The second stage of DICKS is to ask the players if they have any strong character related reasons for not doing it.

Amazing.

The Lord Protector hints at the possibility of having the house rebuilt for the adventurers if they come into money in the future and return.

The adventurers explained about the genie and the Lord Protector was most pleased with having had a potential threat to the town removed. Whatever Benjamin was, he is someone else’s problem now.

They are offered a significant discount on horses and they head off to the in-town ranch and purchase some mounts.

The DM looked to wind up the session there and told the players to have a think about any shopping they might want to do before leaving town. Joffrey asked if there could be horse armour.

There could be horse armour and it would be extortionately expensive, and then we all complained about the Horse Armour DLC in Oblivion and then we all shamefacedly admitted to buying it anyway <sigh>

End of Session

Next time on Ten-foot Squares:

Tune in next week to find out!

Post-session Guff

This is the original DICKS post from way back when:

Free DLC!

Starting next session the DM will be introducing the Decision Indicators for Controlling Key Strategies protocol.

Yes; DICKS.

In the event of a conflict the DM or any player can immediately invoke the protocol by sighing and loudly proclaiming you are all a bunch of DICKS! Then the following will be roughly adhered to:

1. Current President identifies all major options for taking care of whatever the fuck it is you need to take care of.

2. Other players asked one at a time if they have other options they want considered.

3. Other players asked one at a time if they have major character-related issues with any of the options.

4. Options with major issues are removed and are not an option any more.

5. Briefly discuss and vote on remaining issues.

The DM will mediate on whether or not an issue really is a major character-related issue or if you are just being an entitled snowflake.

You are still free to not follow the path voted on by the group but there will be consequences for doing so. I’m mainly thinking lightning bolts but a mutant strain of Orcish herpes is not out of the question.