Starring:
Sophie as Adalyn the Druid
Matthew as Sahrosret/Clint/The-Barb-With-No-Name, a Barbarian
Adam as Doc the Cleric
Henry as Valas the Ranger
Jake as Attacus (at the backattus) the ‘premier’ Paladin
Chris as Kinlek the ‘worst’ Paladin
Our intrepid level 4 (and still rather squishy) heroes have entered the Whorlstone Tunnels in pursuit of a rather evasive gnome-like creature called Droki. Valas is low on hit points from an earlier encounter with a bunch of angry locals and some Death Dogs.
The tunnels are filled with a weird magical fog that pervades the Underdark called ‘faerzress’. They don’t know that this faerzress has been tainted by an outside force and has an unfortunate side effect.
They witnessed Droki pluck and eat a small mushroom, shrink to half his size and run into a small crack. There are not enough mushrooms for the entire party.
The Barb with no name immediately ate one of the mushrooms and ran in after Droki. The rest of the party, after having berated Clint significantly for running off alone (Clint gave not one toss), decided to go the long way around.
We join our heroes with the party split. Clint is off in a narrow crack chasing Droki and the rest of the group are advancing down the main tunnel.
- DM> This is for those of you that aren’t pygmyfied: the tunnel slopes down to the edge of a large pool that fills the cavern ahead. The opposite shore is nearly 100feet away and nothing can be seen beneath the surface of the black water.
- Adalyn> Ooh!
- Kinlek> Hmm. Toss a rock into it, see if anything comes back out?
- Attacus> *To the DM* So we can’t see anything in the water?
- DM> Nope.
- Doc> *to Attacus* Do you know Light?
- Attacus> I do! Can I pick up a rock or something, imbue it with light and throw it in the water and see what happens?
- DM> *Poker face is holding, all systems green* Absolutely. So you’re going to cast a spell yes? A cantrip?
- Attacus> A cantrip, yes.
- DM> Cool… could you roll a D100 for me please?
- Attacus> …. Ah, fuck
- Party> *Groans*
- DM> This would not normally happen in faerzress but in this faerzress we are going to the Wild Magic Surge table!
- Party> *Groans*
- Attacus> *rolls* so… 700?
- DM> /facepalm
- Party> *laughter*
- Attacus> Er… or 007? Ok, what am I doing wrong here?
- Valas> *heavy sigh* Let me see and I can help you!
- Attacus> That’s 70 then?
- Valas> *heavy sigh* No, look *rearranges dice* so it’s…
- Attacus> Oh, I see, so it’s just seven then! Sorry!
- DM> *Looks up 7 in the mostly harmless surge table, goes slightly pale, poker face is not holding, all systems red! Adam notices*
- Doc> Oh no.. Is that… Fireball on your position?!
- DM> *Momentarily speechless just nods*
- Party> *hysterical laughter*
- Attacus> Oh come on! I WAS JUST LIGHTING SHIT UP!
- Doc> That’s a pretty extreme light spell Jake!
- Party> *more hysterical laughter*
- DM> *struggling to recover some composure* Ok, so you hold up a rock and say ‘Light!’ and a Fireball erupts… *DM starts to lose it* at third level…. on yourself! *DM loses it completely, everyone else loses it completely*
- Attacus> *Struggling to stop laughing* I might have killed us! I think I just killed us!
- Doc> That’s 8d6 damage!
- *everybody loses it, some time passes whilst composure is regained*
That is up to 48 points of damage for the uninitiated; considerably more damage than most of the players current hit points.
- Valas> *looking at his hit points, realization dawning* I… I haven’t…. No one healed me yet!
- *everyone starts laughing all over again*
- Valas> I have 13 hit points!
- Kinlek> You might actually die!
- *everybody loses it again*
- Kinlek> Can I say, no matter what happens from now on, I am no longer the worst Paladin!
- Attacus> *still laughing* Oh come on! Fuck off, I was just trying to light shit up!
- Valas> *To Kinlek* Well YOU asked him to do it; “Have you got a light? Yeah, go on!”
- Kinlek> No! No! That was Adam! Not me!
- Doc> I said “Does anyone know light” I didn’t say “Can someone cast light?” I’m not getting the blame for a total party wipe out!
- *coughsemanticscough*
The DM asks everyone to make a Dex save based on Attacus’ spell modifier. It does not go well.
Valas> *mournfully* Well I’m proficient in Dex saves, so plus six, so 9 total and I still fucked it. Oh well.
Attacus, at the very centre of the explosion, was the only party member to pass the save. The DM asked him to roll 8d6. He had to ask someone for more dice. The total was rather low twenty nine.
- DM> Attacus is till on his feet, his eyebrows are somewhat singed and he has a rather surprised expression on his face. He turns around to find…
- Adalyn> I’m still up!
- Kinlek> I’m out.
- Doc> I’m out too.
- Valas> I’m truly fucked, yeah. Minus 16!
- *everyone loses it again*
- DM> The rock is now glowing very brightly indeed in your hand.
- Attacus> I put it down very gently!
- *more laughter*
The party members were healed without anything too bad coming from the surge table and the DM congratulated Jake on downing more players in one go than he has managed in three campaigns so far.
Good times.
The stone has now become a magic item called The Stone of Surprising Warmth that permanently glows. When held to the ear the listener can faintly hear the sound of five humanoids exclaiming in surprise.